I was the little girl that dreamed of having a family. In the years before I wed I always told people I wanted three children but I reserved the right to change my mind after the first one.
Good thing I got that disclaimer in there. Within a few months of having our son my husband and I agreed that we were content with the "A Man" and had no intentions of expanding our family.
Deep down I was perfectly content with this decision. My pregnancy was not complicated. However, it did have some hiccups at the end.
My pregnancy WAS complicated for my husband. I am a firm believer that a man that grew up without sisters should have to go through some type of training before entering the emotional and down right complicated world of vowing to spend the rest of his days with one of God's most delicate creations! My poor hubby had no idea what to expect. The intense emotions and mood swings that would make the world's highest rated coaster seem like a merry-go-round, we almost too much for him at times. Although he anticipated the arrival of his son with much joy, he was a miserable person. I could never intentionally to that to him again.
So the decision was made, the "A Man" would be our precious prince, sole heir to our throne. Now don't you believe for a minute that I didn't have my days of doubt. My moments of meandering over pink bows and pigtails have been numerous. There have been maternal worries of raising a socially defunct child. I even have a list of nice, respectable, and professional individuals who are only-children. Deep down I have always felt we were in God's will, but also as if God had something else for us as well.
To be honest most days are filled with enough hustle and bustle the idea of adding to our family doesn't cross my mind. Until . . .
"Mommy next year when we get a new house I want a brother and a sister. I have names for them too Shooba and Soobee."
Don't ask me where those names came from because there are times the mind of a 4 year old is just too difficult for me to understand.
My son has asked about a sibling about every six or eight weeks for a while now. The thing is I don't have an answer for him. I knew this time would come, but I don't think I realized how unprepared I was for it. Rarely am I ever at a loss for words, but this subject makes my tongue tangle and tie.
All I can do for the time being is talk about the dog we'll get when we get the new house!