Thursday, January 3, 2008

Look Mom! No Cavities!

It was dental week for our family, you know, just starting the year out right. A-man went yesterday and had his appliance (correcting his under bite) removed. It goes back in three weeks from now. Right now it's on the way to a lab where it will be adjusted to put pressure on different teeth. A-man told us last night he wanted it back in, because he missed it. It was a little pricey, so as far as I'm concerned wear it as long as you want!

Today was my turn. I had the office latest edition to the dental hygienist staff. Her name was Katie. She was adorable. She also had a great personality. I know this because she actually asked conversational questions rather than the standard "Did you have a good Christmas?" We watched "Ellen" (they have flat screen TV's placed on these arms -- kind of like the lights, so you can watch while lying on your back) and discussed the new season of "The Biggest Loser." She would remove the tools from my mouth when she asked me a question, so I didn't have to mutter dentist chair speak.

And, well, that was one of my clues. I suspect with all of my being that Katie graduated from dental hygienist school -- YESTERDAY!

Clue 1: Before I even sat in the chair she had me do a 360 degree mouth x-ray. She was "all-my-friends-from-sixth-grade-are-coming-over-for-a-sleepover" excited about using this technology. I'll admit it was fascinating, but still it was just an x-ray of my teeth. Only a newbie would be this excited about using new technology.

Clue 2: The reason she took the tools out of my mouth for me to speak is because she hasn't been doing this long enough to understand dentist chair speak.

Clue 3: This was the clincher. You know the hook-like thingy they scrape your teeth with? Yea, the one with the sharp point on the end. Every time she put that tool up next to my gums she would insert the sharp point INTO my gums and then pull it down across my tooth. Okay, now that you are cringing . . . note that I said EVERY time.
After the first 3 teeth, Katie says "Oh, it seems you gums are bleeding a little."
-- REALLY, I wonder why? --
After about 15 teeth, Katie says "Boy, your gums just like to bleed don't they."
-- Um, no they DON'T like to bleed! --

I never made a peep. Honestly, I felt a little sorry for her. We all have to learn somewhere, somehow, right? However, now I know why people don't like to go to the dentist -- cute, bubbly, dental hygienists named Katie!

Good news: No cavities!
Better news: I don't go back for six months! That gives Katie a while to practice!


Stacey said...

That's funny! I can almost see it--and doesn't blood in the gum stink to high heaven? Wonder if the dentist smells it too...idk.


Jen said...

ROFLMAO!!!!! I feel horrible for you, but DANG! That's filthy funny. I would've been saying a few choice words in dentist-tools-in-my-mouth-ese!